Aluminum Foil No Longer Good Enough For Rich People

Washington - Rich people of the United States have collectively 

decided to use only Reynold's Gold Foil for their households.

The trouble started on November 10, 2010 as Elizabeth McMurray of Los 

Gatos, CA was dictating to her house worker the grocery list.

"I was standing there drinking a Perrier and telling Maria to buy some 

aluminum foil for the upcoming Thanksgiving Day feast. 

Then it dawned upon me: we're too fucking good for this shit!"

"Why should we, people who have loads of money, have to use aluminum 

foil when we should be using gold foil for our household cooking?"

Elizabeth McMurray

After enjoying some snow in the French Alps during Christmas, she launched a campaign to make Reynolds produce gold foil for the uppper crust consumers. Over 175,000 of the United State's richest signed the petition within 30 minutes.

Senator John Kerry of Massachusetts said, "I didn't even have to think twice about giving this the go-ahead! My wife usually packs my lunch, but now I feel like that kid from Willy Wonka every day minus all the drug references."

The packaging giant Reynolds initially was caught off-guard by the idea, but later admitted that it was a "genius idea".

"Holy shit! Why didn't our R&D Department think of this first? I mean, they want it, we produced it, and charge tons for it!" said Mark Devoe, Senior Vice President of Household Products.

Yes indeed, Mr. Devoe, it's win-win-win for all those involved.

*The Associated Press contributed to this story by allowing us to use the name Assoicated Press.