Berkeley Protest Grows Rabid Despite Cuteness Level

Berkeley, CA - Student protestors continue their protest against Graduate Student Instructors over homework issues.

For the third consecutive day, aficionados and supporters of the popular Japanese Sanrio character Hello Kitty are protesting that their work on licensed paper products should be counted as equal to their counterparts who use traditionally bleached white paper.

"This shit is racist!" yelled a male student in a Keroppi costume. "We should be able to turn in our work on pink slips of paper any time we want."

 

The incident stems from a class assignment gone awry. Kristen Moore, a senior, turned in her assignment for a Neurotoxicology class on licensed Sanrio paper. Upon picking up the assignment later the following next week, she got a huge surprise.

Kristen during happier times

 Virginia Davis, Kristen’s apartment-mate helped fill in the gaps. “The report came back with a fat, red ‘See Me’ on it. Kristen and I were both shocked. She had turned in papers on this paper before and got glowing remarks like ‘D+, but adorable paper.’ We just didn’t get it!”

 "That was the last straw," recalls Virginia. "She just totally snapped and questioned how a university could allow its students to be pushed around for loving things that F.O.B.s and weird 43-year-old men with ponytails love."

The Walrus Moose tried to get a comment from the Hello Kitty leader Kristen Moore, but her profuse gibberish indicated that she would only communicate in the language of Hello Kitty - meowing.

The straw that broke the camel's back

An excerpt of what we could publish is below with the help of an interpreter claiming to be her boyfriend.

--

Walrus Moose: Why has it come down to this?

Kristen: Meow Meow-ed Meowing Meow!

Walrus Moose: I'm sorry, what?

Interpreter: мы боремся за мать Россию (*Google translate)

Walrus Moose: What??!

--

With a leader who meows, and an interpreter wanting to restore the glory days of the Soviet empire, there is no clear end in sight.

When asked her opinion, Virginia said, "this whole thing has been going on too long, any way. I was thinking that Kristen was going to just go home take a 9 hour nap then forget all about it like a normal cat would do."

"Also, she's fucking crazy."